Psalms of a Broken Family

This doesn’t feel real.
This was not how things were supposed to happen.
You were supposed to walk your four daughters down the aisle,
Teach your four sons how to bring up a strong family,
Impart your wisdom to the grandchildren,
Enjoy old age with your best friend, your wife,
See the fruits of your labour.

For a millisecond I forget,
My mind is quiet.
But then the realization returns,
And I remember.
The images flash before my eyes like a projector,
And the pain returns like a flood.

I don’t understand why or how,
None of this is making sense.
Is there no justice in this existence?
The good die in sorrow and pain,
The bad live in prosperity in peace.
Sow love and compassion to others,
But reap pain and suffering in its place.

Have you forsaken me?
Did you forsake him?
Have you forsaken us?
Where are you?
Where have you been?
Will you please return?
We need to know why

Hope and healing become swallowed in hardships.
Faith is threatened by fear and doubt.
In this world, things are unjust and unfair,
Randomality rules the dice,
And chance plays your cards.